Secret Admirer Page 7

  “It's hell always eating breakfast alone." When she nodded shyly, he poured her a cup of coffee. "Cream or sugar?" he asked, pushing the cup toward her. "Black."

  "That kinda figures."

  She laughed - she actually laughed - at something he'd said. The sweet sound lit him up inside.

  He broke the egg onto a piece of toast. When the slimy mess oozed all over his plate, he laughed. "I should've known."

  He broke the second one, and more slime soaked his toast.

  "Raw eggs," he said, glancing up at her. "The deal was cooking services." She got up to go again.

  "More tricks," he said, leaping up and blocking the door. "Again you've failed to render the services I've paid good money for."

  She stared straight ahead instead of at him. Her breaths were shallow and choppy, and she stood frozen like a frightened deer.

  "Look at me," he whispered gently. Instead of anger, ardor flared inside him.

  She gave him a long steady look. "If you'll let me go."

  "Okay." He held up his hands and backed away from the door. "Hey, you know something. Maybe I don't blame you for the burnt toast or the raw eggs. I played plenty of tricks on you when we were kids. I should never have snuck up on you with that camera. It was my fault those pictures - "

  "I don't want to talk about it."

  "Well, maybe I do."

  She turned her back on him and pushed the door open. Julie Baby ran inside, meowing.

  He stared at Jane's slender back. "There was no excuse for that except that I was an eighteen-year-old moron," he said. "But I want you to know that I, that later... that I've always felt bad about it."

  To his surprise, she turned around. Her pretty face was brightly flushed. "You apologized back then."

  "Not really. You know as well as I did that my parents forced me to go over to your house and say what I said. The whole thing was a farce. You were upset, and for various reasons, I resented the hell out of you. I thought you were a prissy little tattletale."

  "Maybe I - I was."

  "For what it's worth, I want you to know I didn't really take those pictures or blow them up, post them in the locker room. I got expelled for it, but I didn't do it."

  "It was your camera. I saw you...."

  "You saw me grab it back from Jerry Keith after he took the pictures. He must've stolen it back. But if he did it, he's been too smart to ever confess. Probably 'cause he thinks I'd kill him. And maybe I would."

  She drew a long breath. "Is that really the truth?"

  He stared into her eyes. "Yes and I felt bad about it," he continued. "Not just because I got expelled but because I realized how bad you felt. But I couldn't admit it. Not to you. Not to anybody. Not when they kicked me out of school because of you. Not when I didn't do it and had a major persecution complex. I liked you. I really liked you. I was too stunned to take those pictures. You were just so damn beautiful. The prettiest thing I'd ever seen. But after there was such a stink, I didn't want anybody to know how much I really liked you or how sorry I was, least of all you. Back then I had to be a tough guy. So, since I took the rap and nobody would listen to me anyway, I let everybody think I put them up. Truth was, I wanted to kill whoever did it. But I said you were a snitch and acted like I despised you. Some tough guy. I was a jerk."

  He felt his heart thudding in his throat. For a long time she couldn't seem to meet his eyes. She was staring at his chest instead.

  "Okay," she finally said. "Thanks for that. Maybe I was an easy mark because I was always way too sensitive."

  "I should have made it up to you back then. Do you suppose... it's too late for me to make it up to you now?”

  “I don't know what you mean.”

  “I mean I'd like to start by us being friends.”

  “How?"

  "You could start by going to the Spring Fling with me?"

  "Everybody would talk."

  "So? Does it matter so much what other people say?"

  "It always has in the past."

  "How about now? Despite the raw eggs and the toast, I like the way it feels seeing you first thing in the morning. It's nice. All of a sudden it stinks being alone out here so much. People would get used to us sooner than you think."

  "You don't seem like the lonely sort," she said.

  "People aren't always what they seem, are they? Take yourself. You act all prim and proper, but you definitely have a streak, darlin'. Same as I do."

  "A streak?"

  "A wild streak."

  He was surprised when she smiled.

  "So, you get lonely out here, huh?" she said. "Lonely and wild?"

  He didn't want to talk about that. "What if we just started by becoming friends? What if people thought we liked each other? Would that be so bad?"

  "Depends on how it turned out, and we don't have a crystal ball. So, I can't say."

  Filled with hope, he grinned at her.

  "It's late. I'd better go, Harper."

  He held the door for her and then followed her to her Honda.

  "Pretty day," she said.

  Spring was in the air. The birds were singing and twittering and chasing each other in the trees. An armadillo was rooting around among the garbage cans.

  "What do you think of my house?"

  She glanced toward the monstrosity and tried to control her face. "Well, it's certainly - big."

  He laughed.

  She blushed.

  "I didn't build it just for me," he said. "Wild parties?”

  “Maybe one or two. Mainly it's for the future. I want to fall in love, get married, have kids." She blushed again.

  "Like I said, it gets lonely as hell out here." Her blue eyes burned deep inside him. "Tomorrow I'll cook you a real breakfast," she said as she started the Honda. "It was generous of you to donate all that money to the after-school program. I - I've been a bad sport about it, and I'm really sorry."

  "Apology accepted. I'd forgive you for sure if you had the guts to go to the Spring Fling with me."

  "We've got a lot to live down, you and I." She blew him a kiss and drove off.

  Jane had her cell phone pressed against her ear as she sped down the grocery aisles. Her eyes were stinging a little from her contact lenses.

  "You're in love with him!" Mindy accused.

  Mindy had a bad habit of ringing her up whenever she was driving around town bored. Jane never got to talk to any of her family long before they began to meddle.

  Jane stopped her basket abruptly in front of a row of ice-cream freezers. "Shut up," she whispered. Then she removed her cell from her ear and counted to ten before putting it back.

  "You're never mean to anybody except him," Mindy said matter-of-factly. "It's a sure sign you're in love."

  "You've obviously been talking to Mother."

  "She just hung up. For some reason Helen Geary is giving her fits about that love letter Matt wrote."

  "Like how?"

  "Mom wouldn't say." Mindy sighed. "You wouldn't hate him so much and be so mean to him if there wasn't a solid bedrock of true love."

  "That is the craziest thing I've ever heard.”

  “Hold on!" Mindy cried.

  Jane frowned when she heard sirens in the background. Since Mindy didn't come back on immediately, she began to worry. Her sister could drive her crazy, but she loved Mindy more than anything.

  "Sorry about that," Mindy said brightly. "Some cops were chasing some guy. Probably a doper."

  "Thank God you're okay."

  "Where was I? Oh, yes." She hesitated. "It's true. Everybody in the whole family can see it 'cept you. You've always had a stubborn streak. Especially about him."

  "I want to marry a solid citizen... somebody nice and reliable. Not some hell-raising, flirty, picture-snapping, skirt-chasing braggart who ruined my reputation in high school and drives a flashy car."

  "The only skirt he's been chasing lately is yours."

  "And it had better stay that way."

  "See
- you do love him!"

  "I didn't mean that. He was the worst boy I ever knew."

  "Which was why he was adorable. He was such a daredevil. Everybody loved him. I even had a crush on him once. But who cares about back then now? He's thirty-five. All grown up. Besides, he's rich and successful. Snow women go for rich and successful in their men."

  "He's not my man." Then why are you wearing contacts that are stinging your eyeballs?

  "He could be, if you'd let him be."

  "I'm not in love with him. I'm not." Jane opened the freezer and grabbed a carton of ice cream and held it to her forehead. When Mindy laughed at her, Jane moved it down her neck.

  "Mother said Carol's back in town for the weekend. She thinks Carol regrets being so stupid for giving him that ultimatum, and she's here to try to get him back."

  "And we know this, how?"

  "Her mother told our mother. Our mother told me. And now I'm telling you. I think Carol called our mother to warn you off her daughter's property."

  "And you just had to call me and tell me first thing?"

  "What's a sister for?"

  "Sometimes I wonder."

  Jane was hard at work at her computer, checking out the most relevant, current and credible marketing research available on Fortune's various products, when Andrea slipped silently into her office and shut the door.

  "I just stopped by to say hi," Andrea said as she sat down and crossed her legs.

  Jane felt too shy to ask about the promotion. "Would you like coffee?"

  "I can't stay. Just wanted to let you know that the board is very, very impressed with you."

  Jane felt herself glowing as she smiled. She pushed her glasses higher. "I love my job here."

  "I thought I should tell you that we're very close to reaching a decision about the position of director of market research. You're looking good.”

  “Oh?"

  "I'm thrilled for you."

  When Andrea was gone, and Jane could breathe again, she sank back in her chair and blew on her fingertips.

  "Am I good? Or am I good?" She was so happy she laughed.

  Then she glanced at the towering bouquet of yellow roses, daisies, irises and lilies Matt had sent her, and her joy dimmed a little. The roses were open, and they filled the room with their heady fragrance. She wanted to run to him and tell him, so she could share her happiness with him. But this was something she couldn't share with him. Suddenly thinking about how disappointed he'd be in himself, she squeezed her eyes shut. Her joy in her own achievement faded, and she sank back in her chair and stayed like that a long time.

  "But we can't both win, can we?" she whispered hopelessly to the roses and daisies when she opened her eyes again.

  "This is what I want! More than anything!" The second sentence was louder than the first, as if to convince herself.

  The rest of the day she was especially nice to him, at least until she saw him disappear into Andrea's office. When the big oak door stayed shut for nearly an hour - except for the times Stephanie brought in little silver trays with coffee steaming above china cups and plates piled high with chocolate brownies - Jane frowned.

  When the handsome rat finally emerged, he slunk past Jane's office, avoiding her gaze instead of seeking it as he usually did.

  Which meant - oh my God - the snake felt guilty! Which meant he thought he'd won!

  He had been in there with Andrea forever.

  What was going on?

  Chapter 9

  Friday

  Jane rushed into the ladies' room at Fortune TX and locked herself in a stall. She closed her eyes and simply stood there.

  Minutes passed. Swallowing deep breaths, she fought to calm herself. Finally, she came out, went to the sink and began splashing cold water on her face. When she raised her eyes to the mirror, she froze at the sorry sight that greeted her.

  Who is that ridiculous, pathetic frump in the Coke-bottle-thick glasses and that awful, gray suit, who's having a panic attack over a stupid promotion?

  "You, baby," the girl in the mirror taunted. "You're the uptight nerd with the old-lady bun." Jane's frown deepened as she leaned closer so that her ragged breaths misted the glass.

  "You're not in high school anymore. What are you so afraid of?" she whispered. "You're thirty-two. Live a little. If you don’t, Carol or Andrea or some real floozy will get Matt."

  Jane went numb. The tube of lipstick fell from her shaking fingers to the tile floor and rolled, making little, clicking sounds on the tiles before it banged into the metal trash can. Not that she bothered to pick it up. She was too busy curling her hands into tight fists.

  Maybe you look smart, reliable and levelheaded. Maybe you look perfect for the responsible position of director of market research. But who really cares?

  "I'm tired of being me!" she yelled, shaking her fists at the nerd in the mirror.

  Who cares if your mother delivered you on a pool table and people think that was funny? So what if you have big breasts?

  Get over it.

  Or do something really wild... like... like...

  Flaunt them! screamed a voice inside her head.

  Resisting the impulse to strip naked, Jane ripped off the baggy jacket and tossed it into the trash. Next, she yanked the pins out of her hair and tossed them on top of the jacket. She tore open the top two buttons of her blouse, not caring that one button hung loose, dangling from a single thread.

  Anger consumed her.

  She'd wasted years. Years and years because her free-spirited mother had embarrassed her. Because free-spirited Matt Harper and his kid brother had embarrassed her. Years because she'd been so afraid she'd be laughed at again if she ever flirted or acted sexy again, she'd shut down.

  No more!

  A few minutes later when she stormed out of the ladies' room, and Matt came out of his office, he stopped abruptly, rocking back on his heels, a look of genuine concern darkening his handsome features when he saw her.

  "Out of my way, buster," she whispered.

  "Whoa!" he said softly. "What cat bit your tail?"

  "This has nothing to do with you!"

  Slinging her purse higher over her shoulder, tilting her chin up, she sailed past him and Stephanie without saying another word. Jane had never left early before without clearing it first with Andrea. To hell with Andrea. To hell with the promotion. To hell with Matt Harper.

  For once Jane knew exactly where she was going. She practically ran all the way to that swanky little dress shop downstairs to look at that soft, figure-fitting green dress Melanie had said would look good on her.

  Once inside the store, she didn't stop with one dress.

  Not when she'd deprived herself for years. Not when the talented saleswoman pointed out sparkly green beads, earrings and bracelets - not to mention the sexiest, strappy sandals she'd ever seen. If she was on fire, she'd set her credit card on fire. As the saying goes, she shopped until she dropped. When she drove home, the back seat and trunk of the Honda brimmed with pink boxes and bags.

  Saturday morning Jane was up early, washing her hair and perfuming her body with lotions and cologne. She put on her soft contacts and shook her clean hair loose so that it fell in glistening curls about her shoulders. She shimmied into her dress and put on her bangles. Today she wanted flash.

  When she finally knocked on Matt's trailer in the soft green dress that clung to her breasts and slim waist, enhancing her generous curves rather than hiding them, her pulse was hammering so loudly, she was afraid he'd hear it.

  "Just a minute, darlin'," came his sexy, deep voice.

  Balancing the breakfast tray pertly in one hand as she stood on the top step, she smoothed her skirt unnecessarily while she waited for him a little breathlessly. The windows of the trailer gleamed. The grass had been freshly mown. A newly installed window unit hummed.

  When Matt finally opened the door, he looked so good in his tight faded jeans and crisp white shirt, her legs turned to jelly and her heart real
ly started knocking double time. Then her mind went so blank, all she could do was stare at him like a mute goose.

  "Wow," he murmured, smiling shyly at her as a gust of cool air hit her.

  "Wow back," she managed to say, and then her mind fogged over completely. Oh, she was hopeless when she got anywhere near him. Always had been. It was a flaw, and the emotions he aroused in her a mystery.

  When he took the breakfast tray from her to carry it to the kitchen counter, their fingertips touched briefly and even that made her sizzle. She followed him meekly, walking very slowly on the shag carpet because her strappy, sling sandals were high-heeled. She wasn't used to such feminine, sexy shoes and didn't want to trip. She'd bought the shoes because the saleswoman had told her they made her legs look longer and sexier and because she really really wanted to wow him.

  When he set the tray on the counter, he picked up a tattered newspaper clipping and shoved it quickly into his pocket, but not before she'd seen and realized what it was.

  He'd cut out the unsigned love letter. He'd kept it. He had written it, but he couldn't tell her. At least not yet.

  "You look incredible," she whispered to him. He turned around, his secretive expression confirming her suspicions. "Hey, so do you."

  His voice was so thick and strange, she didn't trust herself to look at him after that. She felt like Cinderella under a spell in her ball gown.

  He'd written that love letter because he couldn't tell her what he felt. Maybe now he wished he hadn't written it. Maybe he'd never admit it.

  "Your trailer looks great, too," she added quickly. "You picked all your stuff up. And you got your air conditioner..."

  "I vacuumed, too."

  "Special occasion?"

  "Very - you."

  She felt his eyes on her mouth and blushed even before his gaze moved lower to admire how she filled out the green dress.

  "Now don't go shy on me, darlin', now that you're here," he whispered. "Pretty dress."

  Shy? She was burning up. "I can't believe the trailer looks so great." Shut up about the trailer.

  "Hey, I wouldn't go that far."

  Swiftly she set the table and spread out the homemade biscuits, jam and butter. She took the cover off the frittata.